Ecclesiastes 7:10

Say not thou,

What is the cause that the former days were better than these?

For thou dost not inquire wisely concerning this.

Ecclesiastes 7:10

Its been a year where the distinctions between Villians and Heroes have blurred even more. Such are the times to which I now bear witness.

My daughter's classmates enjoy the Twilight Saga series. [ Yes, the one where Vampires are Heroes.] The books have been a huge success and have now spawned graphic films.

An acquaintance of mine publicly supported Anna Hazare during his hunger rally, then a week later vilified him.

Popular film and television media show the Main-Man saying "that’s my shit" to mean "those are my possessions".
Multi-Platinum Hip hop artists and role models for youth call their wives / girlfriends  "my bitch" or "my hoe" [whore].

I could go on, but I think you know what I'm talking about.

So for us as a family its time to re-group and huddle, re-emphasize, clarify and re-commit to our values. These are strange times, so be on the watch and guard your minds.

I wish you all a coming New Year 2012 filled with love and joy.

Alisha Wins State Level Gold & Silver

Yesterday Alisha took part in the State Level Martial Arts Championship and did quite well.
In her age group and belt category, she won the GOLD Place for "Katas" [ Kungfu routines ] and SILVER Place in Sparring [ Fights ]. There were more than 120 Shaolin style Kungfu students from different Dojos across the state. I am so proud of her !

Tongue Tattoos ?!

In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritūs Sancti

Last evening I received an email that someone I'd only recently met had passed away. He was just a few years younger than me. The suddenness of it seems to have stirred me up.

Somehow when I think of the final moments, I imagine it sepia-toned, it plays out in slow-mo over a period of time, as we say our goodbyes, grow old gracefully, set all our affairs in order, make our peace with our lives and then go. No such luck for some of us.

Death is the Ultimate, impartial and Randomly generated outcome there is. The only thing you can be certain about, is that it WILL come  to you ! …………. Did your stomach just turn when I said that ? If it didn't, perhaps you should re-read that line.

So, what is it about death that seems so intriguing to me ? Is it morbidity ? No, I think not.

My earliest recollection of a funeral was when I was maybe about 3 or 4 years old. I don’t know whose it was, only that I was there with my grandmother. Maybe some vague friend of hers or a distant relative ? Not sure. I remember some woman bawling her eyes out. Seeing her cry made me want to cry. Not so much for the dead person [ whom I didn't know ], but more from a sense of how inconsolable she was.

My grandmother in her later years became something of a religious nut [ don’t we all ], as she began going to church EVERY evening, with the Rosary prayer on Wednesdays or Thursdays or whatever day it's done. Novena's at the churches in Mahim, Sion, Vakola,  and night vigils at the Portuguese church during Lent. I was all of 3 years old, and she carted me everywhere. Why she prayed so much I can't say, but I felt somehow she was trying to either atone for a lifetime of decadence or maybe she was just plain scared for her eternal soul.

During those times, the slow boring drawl of the priest and the drill of  kneel-down, stand up, sit down, pray, sing, chant and repeat in unison would get to me. I would wander off into the nearby graveyard which most churches have adjacent to them. I would spend my time amongst those gravestones; marveling at the cherubs, angels, and floral tributes and verses carved in marble. "Who was this person ?" I wondered, and "what was the 'beloved family' like ?" I would try to calculate their age at the time of death using the Born and Died dates engraved.

Now when I think about those times, I find it weird that I spent so much time in those places. What an odd little boy I was ! Yet in a strange way, it has helped me look at death with eyes of curiosity rather than fear.

As the years passed there were a few more deaths of people I knew. It seems that as I got older, the frequency and proximity to me of the deceased grew. Until recently a few batch mates, the neighborhood tailor and most recently last evening's news; made me feel that death was just sitting around going "Tick-tack-toe, ….I take this !" and tapping on the guy who sat right beside me.

So does that scare me ? Not really. Funnily, it has an excitement to it. Its like playing Russian Roulette. You know the how, you just can't  be sure of the when. Or even terminally ill people. The doctor tells them the how as well as a fair estimate of the when. And then they cry.

Ha! I say those people are actually lucky. They have a far better handle on it than the rest of us do. We just wait and wonder. We immerse ourselves in our lives assuming we'll live forever. And all the time, Death keeps going : "Inky Pinky Ponky…"

I now feel a renewed sense of urgency. To savour the sense of NOW. To live more fully in the present. And I ask myself, "if I were to die tomorrow, what would I do today ?".
After a long hard think, it comes down to a few phone calls, and a few hugs and kisses. Apologize to a few people, tell a few I loved them, and be kind, loving and gentle with my immediate family.  And yes, publish this blog post hopefully. That’s it really.

No epic legacy. No big bang.

I wonder how many of his fans will remember Steve Jobs beyond the next Iphone model ?

 

Welcome to the 21st Sensory

It seems to me that we humans have become excessively dependent on stimuli. Let me re-phrase - we are over-stimulated. A cursory glance at almost any medium would confirm that.

Lets start with our Ears.

We wake up to an alarm clock. We are attuned to our individual ringtones. Music in the car as we drive. As we look out we see the guy in the bus or on the street with his headphones on too. FM on mobile / MP3 player. The traffic sounds, engines, honking, and street sounds.

Our eyes.

We are so over-sensitized to the high-end visual imagery of movies, we need HD and 3D TV. As if the trashy TV serials were not enough, we now want to be "inside" it. We want wallpapers on our mobiles and laptop. Immersive graphics in multiplayer XBox, provocative billboards, titillating gossip / fashion magazines, loud tabloid style newspapers and internet adult X-rated content.

Our nose.

Perfumes, deos, shampoos, soaps, talc and hair-perfume [ ?! ] that can be smelt in the neighbours house. Mouth freshners, car freshners, mosquito repellent with perfume, Pot Pouri, Fabric freshners, Bathroom freshners and good old agarbatti.

Our Skin

Thousands of personal care products that tell us we are all slowly dying and must pay them money if we wish them to fight it for us. Poor women, they get targeted the most. Earlier felt really bad for them, but now for every ladies product, there is a gent's version as well. Anti ageing cream, sunscreen, fairness creams, moisturizers, scrubs, natural oils, cleansers, face bleach and what not.

Our Taste

Food additives, new restaurants, newer cuisines, noodles-in-dosa, fried idli, curried pasta and flavoured milks. Fruit Sorbets, chocolates which you have to earn, energy drinks to remind yourself that you're young, and fruity alcohol to numb the other four senses.

I'm not sure if we were designed for such large scale bombarding of our sensory apparatus, and as a result, I fear we are now getting addicted and also reaching a state of semi-stupor as our brain gets overloaded. Ever get the feeling that the people you talk to are so "not present" or have that vacant Zombie expression all the time ?

Did I forget to mention the scented, coloured, textured & flavoured condoms ?

The Big Four Oh

Rachakonda Fort

One of the lesser known places, Rachakonda is a 14th Century Fortification. No real presence of a Fort as we understand the term to be. That aside, the place is beautiful and nestled in the minor hill range of Nalgonda. Great place for rock-climbing and exploration; with a couple of ancient temples scattered around the region.
We had originally planned to camp the night there, but ended up returning by about 10pm after a beautiful Full-Moon rise and campfire dinner.

The Golden Temple - Amritsar

During the trip to Ludhiana this year, we took a day to drive down to AMritsar and visit the Golden Temple. It was a wonderful trip. 

Was particularly impressed with the volunteer workers handling shoes, kitchen helpers and the food service and bussing.

Also had the famous Chole Kulcha while we were there, and a quick visit to the (Infamous) Jallianwallah Baug. 

Sadly, all those pics were lost as I'd downloaded them into the laptop which I subsequently lost a few days later.

This last one is at the University in Ludhiana

 - An Exhibit at The Cultural Museum

Small Ironies & some KG Wisdom

The Wild Alamanda bush planted in the corner of the front yard has been blooming to glory, but is facing the direction over the wall and right into the face of my neighbour's gate ! I realised it only today after Deepa pointed it out to me.

And our ongoing organic-garden experiment has yielded a beautiful bunch of bananas. Ironically these too have fruited only last week and from the looks of it, wont be ready until after we've left for Ludhiana.

We'll probably have to ask the maid to harvest them, keep some for herself and distribute the rest to the neighbours. [ 10 dozens and counting ! ]
You could say the Banana Tree has given us a .... KELA !

Moral of the Story : Be prepared, that many fruit and flowers of your labour may not neccessarily be enjoyed by you, but by others.

Armaan Loses a Tooth

Back to Footie

Coaching the kids and joining in a game or two myself.

My poor knees and stamina need to catch up.....

Seerat's Visit on the Independence Day Weekend

Seerat came over for a short weekend, and we went to the same rock climbing cave passage we did during Deepa's Birthday. Had great fun that morning atop the rock.

Why Do I Write ?

I write because there's this steady stream of thought that runs through my mind. I can't seem to make it stop, and it swells and ebbs at different times. Of this I have very little control. I write so I can try to make sense of it as I piece it together. Some are fragmented, some are entire symphonies.  I write so that I can somehow make these thoughts more real; own them more fully, as mine.

Who do I think reads this ? I don't know. And while in the early days I did, I now don't care. I know I read it. And so does Alisha, now and then. I have cautioned her that some of it is inappropriate, but I know she reads some of it anyway. Perhaps someday both of them will read and understand a lot of what I write here. There is wisdom to be had, this much I am certain. In an odd way, and pathetic as it may sound - this is a part of my legacy.

[   11 pm 11th Aug 2011  ]

Art by Armaan

Baked Treats

One of the treats baked by Deepa during her Birthday weekend celebrations.
A Swiss roll topped with fresh whipped cream ! Yummy.

ROCK CLIMBING & RAPPELLING

Climbed up a 60-70 ft rocky structure and then rappelled down from there.
[ 10-Jul-2011 ]

 

Deepa's Birthday

She wanted to do something different this year, so we started a day earlier. The morning with an early session of rock climbing and rapelling, followed by a trip to a historical Jain temple about 45 km away. Exciting and good fun !

More Blankets & Less Blankets

This morning's discussion with Deepa centered around this sequence of points.

The proliferation of the so-called "spiritual" writers and proponents of creative visualization are all born in the murky waters of desperate, hopeless and frustrated people looking for answers in their lives. And sometimes just looking for the easy way out.
After doing all their jigs, and if your grand life doesn't "manifest", then you are doing something wrong. Even if you've done everything right, you've still done something wrong. You've not wanted it enough, or you've wanted it too much….

Which isn't to say there aren't any merits of keeping a positive out look in life. But those are limited to just making yourself happy, and sometimes can be tedious as you try doing that in the face of very opposite circumstances.

An emotional / mental  "payoff" exists even for those who choose to think sad, self-defeating thoughts. How else could you explain people who like listening to sad old hindi movie songs ? They just haven't developed a system of a choice. Even if exposed to knowledge that allows them to have a choice it still takes a lot of effort and resistance to change. Which is why it seems very few people are truly able to make lasting change in their lives.

So is the path to being happy reached by setting lower thresholds for pleasure and satisfaction e.g. food shelter clothing etc ? I feel perhaps, yes. This helps us get a better sense of achievement and a sense of arrival and closure to pursuits. If not, life could turn out to be a long never-ending chase of ever changing dreams.

So am I being silly in getting happy with the small things while peers and colleagues are chasing the big ones?! Who knows….. Does it make me happy ? Yes ! Does it make others happy that they do what they do ? I don't know. And I'm beginning to feel I don't care if they do either. Each one needs to do what works for them.

 

The Powder Puff Flower

This amazing flower blossoms with the first showers of the monsoon, stays in bloom for exactly a week after that; and then its gone. Until the next year.

Of Love

Love it seems to me is a word that has been hugely corrupted, over-used, misused & over-rated. Let me explore the contexts; and see if we can make finer distinctions between the expressions of it.



"I love my parents and my parents love me".
To start with, our early notions of the emotion can only be that which is experienced through our parents / primary care giver in our lives. Sadly, at this stage we are more the recipient than the giver of the love, and so we naturally conclude that we are immensely lovable and have to do little else to be loved / appreciated.

At this stage what we probably experience as love in return is merely a deep sense of gratitude and a sort of relief that we have someone who can look after the complicated stuff for us.

"I love Idli Sambhar"
"I love Football"
"I love the Monsoon"

What we actually are saying is that we really like & enjoy something strongly, and derive a significant amount of satisfaction from that object, activity or event.

"I love You" [ As said in an amorous fashion ]

This is a tricky one.
Most often it is preceded by powerful attraction, but easily confused as intellectual or emotional attraction. Over the last 50 years, enough objective studies have shown us that it is primarily sexual attraction, though very few people would admit to it.

"I love You" [ As said by a couple to each other ]

Depending on what stage of the relationship has been reached it has subtle nuances.

Prior to marriage, what they mean : They enjoy spending time with each other and feel that there is a lot more to know about the other. There is the joy of discovery.

A few years into marriage, what they mean : They have now experienced each other; both in their wonderful aspects as well as their limitations and have now developed a sort of comfort in knowing that they are not really being judged but accepted as they are.

There is a strong sense of familiarity, and bonding through shared experiences. If children have been born, then there is also a sense of purpose for the couple as well as an aspirational quality about the future for them.

"I love You" [ As said by a parent to a child ]

What is meant here is : The parent has a very strong protective & nurturing instinct. In many aspects he / she delights in the child's antics and accomplishments as though they were their own. This by the way, is hard-wired in our brains to ensure offspring survival.

"I love You" [ As said by a child to a parent especially after having children of their own ]

What is meant here is : The child now having reached adulthood has a deeper appreciation of the whole parenting process and in many ways has experienced selfless love. Hence the expression when used back to the parents, carries with it a fuller understanding of the various facets of the emotion.

"God loves you"

Aside from the huge ontological arguments this presents, I think it would be safe to say that we really cannot know how far that statement is true.

Even then, assuming it is; what is probably meant is more likened to the way a parent loves a child. ( See above )

So, what if "true love" is really just a conspiracy being sold to us by advertisers, publishing houses, movie-makers, musicians [ who want to sell albums ] and greeting card companies ?

Popular culture portrays Love as this intense magical experience that cannot be found easily and has to be sincerely sought after for it to be true.

As for me, I've never experienced it in that way. How's it been for you ?

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KG WISDOM 05

"True appreciation is born from deprivation." - KG April 2011

Alisha Gets Chicken Pox

Poor Alisha, she got the Pox from one of the other kids riding the bus at school.
Quarantined for 2 weeks, with only Deepa and myself allowed to go in her room, Armaan misses her badly. This is what he wrote on the whiteboard for her.

BHONGIR FORT

Bhongir Fort is located about 45 Km North of Hyderabad in a little town called Bhongir. I orginally came through this town around 2003 and passed it by on many other occassions. Always secretly committing to myself that I'd come back someday and climb this geological marvel.

Basically its built on a massive 500 ft height and spread over 40 acres, bulbous igneous rock with sheer faces on 3 sides and a tricky approach from the main.

Today started with a rainy monsoon morning, which doesnt surprise me anymore, even though its the end of Feb ! Alisha remarked saying "Maybe its the April showers starting early this year".

An hour later we got our day-tripping gear together, some delicious cold roast lamb sandwiches, fluids and we were off. It was the perfect day for rock climbing and we made fairly good progress.

The climb I'd rate as Moderate in difficulty and risk, but we did all right.

The ramparts of the old fort still stands today, but some parts are in disrepair and potentially hazardous. Especially considering that the drop from atop is sheer.

Most material on the web states it as being built in the 12th century by some Chalukyan king; now I may not be an expert, but I've seen enough to make an educated guess that its more like 14th-15th Century, and certainly NOT Chalukyan, seeing the cannons and all. 

A lot of the motifs, and stucco work on the walls as well as the classic bevelling of arches pointed more towards the Qutub Shahi dynasty. But thats my personal view, so don't quote me on that.

The Vandalism and people carving their names on monuments is still prevalent & pathetic, and in one instance some nerd called ZAFAR had carved his name, to which Armaan said maybe its Zafar the Duffer !