More Blankets & Less Blankets

This morning's discussion with Deepa centered around this sequence of points.

The proliferation of the so-called "spiritual" writers and proponents of creative visualization are all born in the murky waters of desperate, hopeless and frustrated people looking for answers in their lives. And sometimes just looking for the easy way out.
After doing all their jigs, and if your grand life doesn't "manifest", then you are doing something wrong. Even if you've done everything right, you've still done something wrong. You've not wanted it enough, or you've wanted it too much….

Which isn't to say there aren't any merits of keeping a positive out look in life. But those are limited to just making yourself happy, and sometimes can be tedious as you try doing that in the face of very opposite circumstances.

An emotional / mental  "payoff" exists even for those who choose to think sad, self-defeating thoughts. How else could you explain people who like listening to sad old hindi movie songs ? They just haven't developed a system of a choice. Even if exposed to knowledge that allows them to have a choice it still takes a lot of effort and resistance to change. Which is why it seems very few people are truly able to make lasting change in their lives.

So is the path to being happy reached by setting lower thresholds for pleasure and satisfaction e.g. food shelter clothing etc ? I feel perhaps, yes. This helps us get a better sense of achievement and a sense of arrival and closure to pursuits. If not, life could turn out to be a long never-ending chase of ever changing dreams.

So am I being silly in getting happy with the small things while peers and colleagues are chasing the big ones?! Who knows….. Does it make me happy ? Yes ! Does it make others happy that they do what they do ? I don't know. And I'm beginning to feel I don't care if they do either. Each one needs to do what works for them.

 

The Powder Puff Flower

This amazing flower blossoms with the first showers of the monsoon, stays in bloom for exactly a week after that; and then its gone. Until the next year.

Of Love

Love it seems to me is a word that has been hugely corrupted, over-used, misused & over-rated. Let me explore the contexts; and see if we can make finer distinctions between the expressions of it.



"I love my parents and my parents love me".
To start with, our early notions of the emotion can only be that which is experienced through our parents / primary care giver in our lives. Sadly, at this stage we are more the recipient than the giver of the love, and so we naturally conclude that we are immensely lovable and have to do little else to be loved / appreciated.

At this stage what we probably experience as love in return is merely a deep sense of gratitude and a sort of relief that we have someone who can look after the complicated stuff for us.

"I love Idli Sambhar"
"I love Football"
"I love the Monsoon"

What we actually are saying is that we really like & enjoy something strongly, and derive a significant amount of satisfaction from that object, activity or event.

"I love You" [ As said in an amorous fashion ]

This is a tricky one.
Most often it is preceded by powerful attraction, but easily confused as intellectual or emotional attraction. Over the last 50 years, enough objective studies have shown us that it is primarily sexual attraction, though very few people would admit to it.

"I love You" [ As said by a couple to each other ]

Depending on what stage of the relationship has been reached it has subtle nuances.

Prior to marriage, what they mean : They enjoy spending time with each other and feel that there is a lot more to know about the other. There is the joy of discovery.

A few years into marriage, what they mean : They have now experienced each other; both in their wonderful aspects as well as their limitations and have now developed a sort of comfort in knowing that they are not really being judged but accepted as they are.

There is a strong sense of familiarity, and bonding through shared experiences. If children have been born, then there is also a sense of purpose for the couple as well as an aspirational quality about the future for them.

"I love You" [ As said by a parent to a child ]

What is meant here is : The parent has a very strong protective & nurturing instinct. In many aspects he / she delights in the child's antics and accomplishments as though they were their own. This by the way, is hard-wired in our brains to ensure offspring survival.

"I love You" [ As said by a child to a parent especially after having children of their own ]

What is meant here is : The child now having reached adulthood has a deeper appreciation of the whole parenting process and in many ways has experienced selfless love. Hence the expression when used back to the parents, carries with it a fuller understanding of the various facets of the emotion.

"God loves you"

Aside from the huge ontological arguments this presents, I think it would be safe to say that we really cannot know how far that statement is true.

Even then, assuming it is; what is probably meant is more likened to the way a parent loves a child. ( See above )

So, what if "true love" is really just a conspiracy being sold to us by advertisers, publishing houses, movie-makers, musicians [ who want to sell albums ] and greeting card companies ?

Popular culture portrays Love as this intense magical experience that cannot be found easily and has to be sincerely sought after for it to be true.

As for me, I've never experienced it in that way. How's it been for you ?

Disclaimers and Warnings regarding this site

By entering this site you certify that you are of the prescribed age, gender and mental fortitude, and a fortiori have read this disclaimer in toto.


This site is maintained by me.



Privacy Policy
I reserve the right to use your personal details / email id provided anywhere on this site to share with other websites ( for a huge consideration ) as well as spam, and other unsolicited periodic offers which may or may not be true.

Disclaimer of Endorsement
Links to other websites from here are provided as a courtesy and do not have my approval, endorsement or awareness of their content.


( To put it simply, you’re better off never leaving here )

Other websites which you may access through the links here, are run by other people, ( which is why the little address at the top of your page changes.)


View at your own risk. The reader (you) is hereby forewarned that the content outside of this website is beyond my control. I can't even control what is on this website sometimes. I had to create it or I'd never get to sleep.


I am barely mature enough to be responsible for my own behavior, how can I be responsible for anyone else's ?

I also state that I haven't received any money from anyone for promoting their site, not even Amazon or Ebay, though it's not like I'm not open to the prospect.
I can be bought, I just haven't been offered the right price yet.

Disclaimer of Liability






For material on this site, I do not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for accuracy, veracity, precision, exactitude, perfection, applicability, relevance, dietary fibre, fat content, appropriateness, fitness, or usefulness of any information, apparatus, product, images or process disclosed or their outcomes, effects, results, side effects, consequences, emotions or aftermaths. I also have a thesaurus and I'm not afraid to use it.










Status of Information






The views and opinions expressed herein do not necessarily state or reflect


the viewpoint of anyone but me. In fact, sometimes they may not even reflect mine, particularly if the page in question is old or I was in a bad mood at the time.






Data, facts and information is provided for entertainment / educational purposes only, and is not intended to be definitive or certified as error-free. Including but not limited to errors in typing, spelling, coding, broken links, outdated content, and outright lies.






It is not the intention of this website to provide edifying, insightful, or noble content. This site does not intend to forward a particular political viewpoint, cure world hunger, make you a better person, or fix your wobbly commode seat.






This website does not intend to provide any illegal or immoral content


(though sometimes it just happens)






I do not list this website on my resume, and that should tell you something.










Statement of accuracy






I'm not a professional anything. I'm an amateur. And immature as well.


I barely know what I'm doing. There are times that I look at my website and


wonder how the heck it got there.






This does not mean I'm wrong, it just means I haven't got it right yet.










Other Miscellaneous Disclaimers / Warnings






Use of these pages may result in accidental spilling of drink, uncontrollable laughter, peeing of pants, bleeding hemorrhoids or a case of the hiccups.


Please view responsibly.






Do not view these web pages in conjunction with large amounts of alcohol. If you are drinking large amounts of alcohol and viewing my web pages you are a sad, pathetic person, and quite possibly my ex-girlfriend.






Do not view this website while driving. Use of cell phones to view web pages is pretentious and a hazard to the other drivers.






Do not combine this website with your other medications. Please.


They were prescribed for a reason.






Some of the content of this website may be deemed objectionable by sensitive groups. All of it may be deemed objectionable by narrow-minded intolerant uptight jerks with severe dysfunction, boundary and / or control issues.






People with odd notions of romance and / or adventure may go running off to the woods to tear up flowers and tree branches after viewing this website.


This may lead to charges of damage to wildlife and the environment by GREENPEACE, or trespassing if done on private property.






Viewing of this website may lead you to an obsession with the motion picture Fight Club or music by Dave Mathews Band.


I do not think this is a bad thing but thought it was only fair to mention it.






Viewing of this website may lead you to believe I'm bitter, opinionated,


and somewhat strange. You're probably right.






No rabbits or other fluffy creatures were injured during the making of this site.










Your mileage may vary. And objects in the rear view mirror may be closer than you think, infact they may already be in your back seat.






Any claims by you upon this website will be judged ex aequo et bono






Note: All works Copyright Kevin Green unless otherwise noted










Disclaimer to the disclaimer






I couldn’t afford a fancy lawyer, so this disclaimer has been made by me; consequently some of the legal jargon may not have been framed correctly.


I hope the intent is clear: Please don't hold me responsible for anything, and if you try to sue me you’d not get much anyway.






Don't say I didn't warn you

KG WISDOM 05

"True appreciation is born from deprivation." - KG April 2011